The Discipline Diaries

Last week was sort of a doozie of a week, discipline-wise. I was feeling like Camille's behavior was out-of-control, and the way that I was dealing with it was also out-of-control. I felt panicky in my heart, which is not normal for me. I felt like I was constantly teetering on the edge of blowing up, and all it was going to take would be a wooden puzzle falling on the floor and clattering me into a stage ten meltdown. 

Phew. 

At one point I was texting with my sister trying to just vent vent vent myself into a state of calm, and Camille was sitting on the time-out step, and then she started crying really hard. At the moment I just thought she was doing it for attention, escalating her tantrum, and then she cried out that she'd tinkled on the floor. 

Y'ALL.

I always hope that I'm not putting too much out there on "the internets," the type of thing that will embarrass me or my family down the line, but I also know that there may be many of you who are just completely nodding your heads in agreement right now and thinking "thank GAWD I'm not the only one."

I read recently that any labels that you assign to your children should only be POSITIVE labels, and if negative labels should just be associated with their behavior ... i.e., my daughter is friendly, my daughter is creative, my daughter is funny -- the way she snatched from her sister is rude, the way she screamed in the grocery store is not acceptable behavior in our family. 

Staying at home with the girls is not the easiest thing I've ever done. But, just as I did when I worked behind a desk, I'm refusing to come face to face with a challenge and then back down. Oh, heck no. I'm re-energized to tackle this and WIN. :)

Recently I hosted another Junko Bunco at my house and someone (an angel?!) brought the book 1-2-3 Magic, which I quickly swiped up. I started reading it last week and incorporating the calm counting immediately. I am amazed at how well it has worked. I'm not screaming like a scary mommy any more (most days) and I feel in control of discipline. I can calmly tell Camille "You're at a 1" or even silently hold up a finger and she typically reverses her behavior. If not, I wait a few beats and she goes to a 2. At number 3, she has a consequence -- typically 3 minutes in time-out, depending where we are. 

Probably the most interesting concept I've incorporated and loved has been to allow them to come out of time-out with a clean slate. No harping on the past. When the timer on my phone beeps, Camille can exit time-out and I can be there to greet her like "hey, wanna go outside for a few minutes with me?" or "let's get a glass of water!". Before, she was coming out of time-out and I was spending extra minutes asking her to apologize for what she did, talking with her about why we don't do that, etc. etc. etc. 

But if you think of it, would you like to be reprimanded at work, then receive a punishment, and then after you've "served your time," be reminded again of what you did and why it was bad? No way!

So anyway, there's some of the inner-workings of our family and what we are going through these days. It's not always easy to discipline, but I feel a lot more in control of the situation now.